A Reddit user sought advice from others on whether it was OK or not for her to ask her adult daughter to split the rent with her.
Reddit user "throwaway_dating224" posted on the "Am I the A*****e" (AITA) subreddit on Jan. 30 asking if she was in the wrong for wanting her 25-year-old daughter to pay part of the house rent payment.
The user said her daughter moved into her home in 2019 while she was attending college.
It's unclear from the post whether the daughter had moved out, then moved back in; but the daughter has since graduated from college and gotten a paying job, although not enough to move out on her own.
"I have asked her to split the cost of rent and utilities in half with me … and [she] doesn’t consider it fair," the user wrote.
The poster said her daughter does not want to live with her and has told her that she's saving money for continued education or a down payment on a house.
The mother and daughter live in an area with a high cost of living, the Redditor said — but their rent is below average for the area.
Additionally, the mother said her daughter refuses to invite guests to the house, as she is "embarrassed at the state of the house," repeatedly asking her mother to get rid of items in the home to make space for more of her things.
The mother claims she tends to be tired after work and finds it hard to clean up after herself once she's back home.
The Redditor ultimately wanted to know if it’s OK to ask her daughter to split the rent costs 50-50.
This scenario is an example of a classic power struggle between a child and a parent, California-based parenting expert Stef Tousignant told Fox News Digital.
As a parent, there are three choices for how to approach this situation, Tousignant, a parenting expert for Parentdifferently.com, said.
"Use your power to force or coerce, give in and let your child dictate the complete outcome — or use love, empathy and patience to come up with a solution with your child," she also said.
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The daughter in this situation is aware of the consequences of her actions as well as the concept of personal boundaries, said Tousignant, who recommended that the mother and daughter have a civil conversation.
"The mother needs to come to the table with compassion for her daughter but boundaries for herself — and the daughter needs to come to the table with respect for her mother and accountability for her actions," the expert recommended.
Reddit users offered varying opinions on the hot topic.
"Why should she pay half when the home is filled with all [of] your things?" one commenter wrote, addressing the mother.
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Another user commented to the mom, "Why are you too tired to move your stuff but not too tired to cash your daughter’s checks?"
On the other hand, some users agree that the daughter should be pitching in and helping with expenses — but maybe not at a 50-50 split.
"Charging her rent? Fine, no problem there," one Reddit user responded.
"But if she doesn’t have … use of half the space in the home yet, then remedy that before you charge her or adjust the rent [percentage] accordingly," the same user added.
